If I Liked What I Did On The Weekday, I Wouldn't Want to Escape it in The Weekend.
As a child, I used to spend weekends studying since I felt that I could not get a lot of studying done during the weekdays because of long school hours. The same continued in college too. But my peers on the other hand used to go to malls and other places during the weekend during school and college. But once I started working, I too started doing the same. I started going to malls, theatres, beaches, restaurants etc. on the weekend. I wondered why there was this sudden shift in me and why did I suddenly realize the meaning of a weekend. After much thought, I reached a conclusion. When I was in school and college, I had an aim, a goal - to get good grades, so I worked on it week day and weekend. But now I am goal-less, a promotion is not something that is certain, it is not something that is given based on a perfect measurement of performance and so there is no sure way of achieving it. And since there is no sure way of achieving it, it can't be a perfect goal. A perfect goal is measurable, achievable. And now since I have no big goals, I am spending the weekends roaming the city, trying to find joy and a sense of fulfillment. I have also become more materialistic, more into material things like jewelery, makeup, clothes. Something that I wasn't as interested in before. If this is something good or not, I do not know. But I do know that it is a by-product of not having a goal. Not having anything measurable to achieve. I wonder if there are certain careers where progress can be measured and goals are fixed. A career where there is always a hill higher than the one you are currently standing on and a career in which the higher hill is visible from the one you are standing on. I felt a taste of this in freelancing on a famous freelancing platform - Fiverr. Over there, there were levels - new seller, level 1 seller, level 2 seller, top rated seller. So each seller has a measurable goal, they need to complete certain amount of orders and earn certain amount of money to go to the next level, this gave me some thrill and some sense of achievement along with some feeling of working towards something. But after my account was removed, I haven't felt that kind of thrill again. I yearn to be in a position where I have goals again, not small ones but big ones. Goals which are worth not trying to escape in the weekend.
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