The Real Meaning of Failure

Everyone associates failure with negative emotions, weakness, incompetence etc. But is that what failure truly means? Because everyone at some point or another is going to fail at something. So why is something that is so natural considered to be so bad. What if we saw failure from a different perspective. Maybe, failure shows that the person at least had the courage to try something new, something different. Maybe failure shows that the person had the courage to take risks. Maybe, the person who failed had other things going on in which he/she did well, but they failed at this one thing. But the meaning of failure does not stop here yet. It's true meaning comes from how we respond to it. When we fail at something big, we are consumed by it, we wallow in self-pity. At this point, we have two choices: 

• To let this failure, define our whole identity.
• To transform ourselves and become better than what we were before this failure. 

According to Victor E Frankl's book "Man's Search for Meaning", there are three things which create meaning in our life:

• When we meet someone new or experience something new.
• The way we react to unavoidable suffering.
• When we do a deed or create something.

For now, we need to focus on the second point because failure is an unavoidable suffering. The way you respond to it, can create meaning in your life. There are certain things which can help us overcome failure, grow from it and become a better, stronger person. These things are:

• Never blame yourself for the failure.
• Don't let the failure define your entire identity.
• See what you did wrong and don't repeat it.
• Focus on something different.
• Become really good at something.
• Build habits & routines which help you take care of your physical health, mental health, work/study, etc.
• Remember about the times when you achieved something big. That is your real potential.
• And my favorite: give up but don't GIVE UP. This means, for instance, say you created a YouTube channel, but YouTube banned your account, maybe at this point you can give up on YouTube but don't give up on the entire idea of having a side hustle. Try other new side hustles. Another example is, say you like a boy who is not interested in you, in this situation, you should give up on the boy but not on the entire idea of finding love. You can still find someone new.  
• Read non-fiction books related to your failure. These can give you new ideas, introduce you to new concepts which can help you greatly. For example, say you failed in a subject at school/college, you can read books about how to study well, these can give you some tips on how to study more effectively.
• Don't lie to yourself. Accept your faults internally. Change can only begin once you accept your mistake.

Failure is unavoidable and it does feel like a really negative thing because of the way other people perceive it. When we fail, people look down upon us, underestimate us, laugh at us, think that we are dumb or not good enough. But what people think about us is something that should not influence what we think about ourselves. Not everyone knows your whole story except you. Only you know all the ups and downs. People are like the passing wind, they only get glimpses of you, your failures & your achievements. They are not good judges, but you are. Failure is the only thing that can make you grow. It might make us cry; it might make us angry or sad, but it will also make us grow at the end. When we win, we don't see any problems and so we don't learn new things and so we don't grow. But when we fail, we see that there is a problem and so we learn new things and so we grow.